Weird Fishing Spam

This is a slightly disturbing fisher that I received an email from today. This one bothers me for reasons I cannot put my finger on. Of course, it is again from South Africa. Seriously fishers/spammers...Do you really think that there are ANY rubes left in the world that believe ANY email originating on the entire African continent? I think not. You have become an inside joke to the world. MR WILLIAM YOUNG  reply-to willy_young2006@yahoo.com to date Tue, Feb 17, 2009 at 2:35 AM subject WE CAN WORK TOHETHER FOR OUR BENEFIT

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MR WILLIAM YOUNG
CAPITEC GROUP LIMITED SOUTH AFRICA
TEL: 27 71 085 6237 PRIVTE EMAIL: willy_young2006@yahoo.com

Complements of the day

Thank you for giving me your time. Please be patient and read my letter to you.
I am MR WILLIAM YOUNG a staff of CAPITEC Group attached in Private Banking Services. I am contacting you concerning a customer and, an investment placed under our banks management 4 years ago, I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you. In 2003, the subject matteref: bb/capitec/bank/73 came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our Private Banking Services Department. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of $13.35 million United States Dollars, which he wished to, have us turn over on his behalf. I was the officer assigned to his case; I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer of the Private Banking Services Department. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice to


Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man; I happily married with two kids. I send you this letter not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences might be, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray    my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon.
I await your response.

Best regards

MR WILLIAM YOUNG

Obvious/Insulting Instructions Piss Me OFF!!!

Okay, so this morning I'm making a new product by the good people at Pillsbury. They're these delicious looking things called Flaky Twists with chocolate icing. Uh...yum. So, they're actually just the regular sized cinnamon roll in a different package & you, get this, UNroll the cinnamon ROLL and TWIST it into a...twist. Sexy, no? Anyway, on the directions for use, it states the following:

SEPARATE dough into 8 rounds; unroll into strips (some cinnamon may fall off). Really. Crap, I really wish I had read these directions fully. I took mine back to the store as being a defective product.

Me: "Good sir. I would like a return of my currency post haste. Your breakfast pastry product has malfunctioned."

Manger: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that sir. Allow me to make an exchange for you. May I ask what was the problem?"

Me: "The product that I purchased stated in print that the Flaky Twists were cinnamon. In the process of attempting to make this product, some of the aforementioned cinnamon did indeed fall from the "twists," thus rendering them less cinnamony than I believe is reasonable."

Manager: "Um...okay. I'm sorry to..."

Me: "Please return my currency equal to what I exchanged for the purchase of these "Flaky Twists."

Manager: "Yeah, I was just getting ready to...."

Me: "I will thank you to perform this post haste and bid you good day gentle sir."

Manager: "Sure, I'll get right on that, if I could just see your receipt, I'll get right to..."

Me: "I said GOOD DAY!"

So, after I received my money, I bought another package of the Flaky Twists, trusting that this would be a better experience. Perhaps the first came from a bad lot. Accidents happen. Screws fall out of machines, the electricity goes out, child laborers pass out from malnutrition or exhaustion. You know....needless to say this same scene repeated seven times before I noticed the tiny, tiny writing, "...some cinnamon may fall off." Oh. My. To quote half alien baby Maggie from the Simpson's Treehouse of Horror V (I think), "This is indeed a disturbing universe."

So, anyway with directions like that on a product that requires an oven to be 350 degrees, if you can't understand that in the process of twisting these flaky twists, YOU SHOULD BE NO WHERE NEAR AN OVEN. You should also probably be required to wear a crash helmet and never EVER have refined sugars.